Muslims Conceive Way To Get Personal With Dead

The UK Daily Mail is reporting that the Muslim Brotherhood has passed a law granting husbands permission to have sex with their wives up to six hours after the wife has died.

It’s exactly right.

“Egyptian husbands will soon be legally allowed to have sex with their dead wives — for up to six hours after their death.

The controversial new law is part of a raft of measures being introduced by the Islamist-dominated parliament,” under the control of the Muslim Brotherhood.

I read this, and I said, “The NAGs are coming after me. The NOW gang is coming after me, and, meanwhile, in Egypt husbands will be able to have sex with their wives up to six hours after the wife has died.”

What do you mean a widespread problem?

No, no, no.

Look, I’m not an expert here on Sharia law.

I'm not an expert in this.

I don’t know if this is new or if it’s been practiced and they just finally had to codify it because it’s been going on for so long.

The Daily Mail, the UK Daily Mail, which reports the story, is holding out the possibility that this could be bogus.

That’s what I mean seeded by pro-Mubarak forces to embarrass the Brotherhood, which, of course, has a very, very tight relationship with Obama.

The Brotherhood was here.

The Brotherhood had White House meetings.

I mean, before they were elected heads of state.

The Brotherhood is more welcome in the White House than Boehner is, for example.

By the way, lest you think that this is sexist, wives also have permission to have sex with their dead husbands in Egypt for six hours after he has died, but nobody has figured out yet how to successfully perform sex on a male corpse.

I’m told that engineers are working on it.

Dawn’s shaking her head.

“This can’t be true. It can’t.”

USA Gasoline Prices Remain Sky High

As Americans across the country gear up for Memorial Day, they have welcomed the recent dip in gas prices.

Although gas prices are down nearly 20 cents per gallon from one month ago, the average price in the United States remains uncomfortably high at $3.68 per gallon.

AAA projects Memorial Day travel will be similar to that of 2011, slightly increasing by 1.2 percent.

The news, really, is that these high gas prices aren’t news anymore.

Consumers have grown accustomed to $3.50 or $4 per gallon on the signs at gas stations, as long as the prices aren’t consistently spiking upward.

This becomes problematic when it allows policymakers to put gas prices on the back burner, because these currently high prices are draining the wallets of millions of Americans and are taking a toll on businesses that have to pass the costs on to consumers or absorb the costs.

In a recent Small Business & Entrepreneurship Council poll, 40 percent of small businesses responding said they have had to increase their prices.

Consumer demand is already down, and passing the costs of higher energy prices to consumers will suppress demand even further, causing lower output, lower income, and higher unemployment.

A new study by Bankrate, Inc., found that nearly 60 percent of Americans cut back on spending in 2012 because of high gas prices.